To Be Loved
Adele addresses her divorce from Konecki on "To Be Loved", explaining to her son why her marriage did not succeed, a theme also explored on 30's third track "My Little Love". The song has lyrics about persevering in a relationship with the sole reason of wanting to be loved. She describes the price one has to pay upon completely and unapologetically falling in love with someone else. Adele justifies the separation as she believes the marriage deprived her of the true love she had been seeking her whole life, and parts ways in hopes that a greater love is possible. On "To Be Loved", she confronts what it means to share her life, attempting to gauge where her trust and dependence transformed into self-erasure: "To be loved and love at the highest count/Means to lose all the things I can't live without," and states, "I can't live a lie". Slant Magazine's Eric Mason described the song as "the internal monologue of a Broadway actor who's been unexpectedly left alone on stage".
To Be Loved
Man naturally desires, not only to be loved, but to be lovely; or to be that thing which is the natural and proper object of love. He naturally dreads, not only to be hated, but to be hateful; or to be that thing which is the natural and proper object of hatred. He desires, not only praise, but praiseworthiness; or to be that thing which, though it should be praised by nobody, is, however, the natural and proper object of praise. He dreads, not only blame, but blameworthiness; or to be that thing which, though it should be blamed by nobody, is, however, the natural and proper object of blame.
We want not only to be loved, we want to think of ourselves as lovely. Rather than see ourselves as we truly are, we see ourselves as we would like to be. Self-deception can be more comforting than self-knowledge. We like to fool ourselves.
Both are good and both are also bad. If you are loved, you're not always taken seriously. If you are feared, you're not always liked. Here's the thing, I believe there is a way to get both. I call this the science of charisma. It is the balance between being both warm and competent, both liked and respected. I have a twelve step method for teaching this skill to you.
"to be loved is a huuuuge document on my computer with lines and ideas written over almost a year i think? we had discussed the idea of her doing vocals on one of my tracks waaay back in like 2017, so i just started collecting emotions and gradually shaped some concepts until i had a track ready that made sense to have a feature on. so most of the lyrics and melodies were already written, but i kept some of it open so she could add her touch and style to it."
Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with. Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you. And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.
Returning to the question of being feared or loved, I come to the conclusion that, men loving according to their own will and fearing according to that of the prince, a wise prince should establish himself on that which is in his own control and not in that of others; he must endeavour only to avoid hatred, as is noted.
This document was downloaded from Lit2Go, a free online collection of stories and poems in Mp3 (audiobook) format published by the Florida Center for Instructional Technology. For more information, including classroom activities, readability data, and original sources, please visit -prince/5597/chapter-17-concerning-cruelty-and-clemency-and-whether-it-is-better-to-be-loved-than-feared/.
The reason you are alive is because God wanted to love you. The first purpose of your life is to be loved by God! Yes, it is important to serve, obey, and trust him, but your greatest purpose is to love him.
Because humans have an inherent need to be loved and accepted, someone who feels unlovable might feel incapable of setting boundaries because they will sacrifice their other needs in order to make these connections. They might not realize that they deserve to be treated well by the people they care about.
The line appears in The Prince, a harsh and brilliant treatise authored by fallen political leader Machiavelli after imprisonment and torture by Medici rulers for suspicion of conspiracy led him to retreat in bitterness to the countryside in 1513. However, what Machiavelli actually advised in Chapter XVII was that it is best to be both loved and feared. Only when that ideal is not possible, such as when gratitude dissolves during threats to survival, did Machiavelli suggest fear is a more reliable way to inspire discipline than bonds of love. Alas, those misguided executives and MBA students left campus having been taught that some measure of cruelty is always necessary to maintain order.
When you write "I guess I'll never be loved," I think you might be able to change that right now. You can love yourself. You may already have proper self-love, but if not, self-love and acceptance can be an important means to finding love with others. I am pretty sure that if I lack self-love and instead hate myself, I am probably not in a good position of being in a loving relationship with another person: I might be baffled with thoughts like "why does she love me when I know that I am not worthy of attention, let alone love?"
Philosophers have come up with various philosophies of love and this site would not be big enough to fill all these positions out. But I can record an answer to your first question by a famous philosopher, Kierkegaard. He thought it was easier to love than to be loved. To love, you do not have to depend on how your beloved responds. You can love him or her without requiring or expecting love in return. Of course that can also be a hard, non-compensatory love. It is, though, in the mind of Kierkegaard and some others, something that can be beautiful. 041b061a72